Sunday, November 3, 2013

Date Day

Today was wonderful and I really enjoyed myself. I was able to do something I should do more often and need to make more time to do...I dated my parents. I spend a lot of time with my parents but I miss having the one on one experience with them. As the oldest of four I have to share my parents.  I don't really mind and I love being around my entire family but it's always a little special and indulgent to have my parents to myself. It's even moreso when I can have one on one time with each of them and for that I am extremely thankful.

I spent the morning shopping and hanging out with my mom.  It was a lot of fun. My mom is an awesome woman with such a big heart. She is always really smart and insightful. My mom has a great laugh and I love to see her smile too.  I love to make my mom smile.

So today we were shopping for my Mom's trip to Chicago with her sisters to see my cousin run a big marathon. It's always an adventure to find the right article of clothing.  Not to short.  Not too warm.  It can't be itchy.  Oh and it can't be tight!  It was quite a task because everything right now is warm, tight, short and covered in itchy embellishments, like sweaters woven with tinsel.

Spending time with my mom today was more than just running through stores and trying to find the perfect fit. It was more like connecting with her on another level as women...friends...moms.  I found myself listening to her several times today like a sage advisor and I was trying to soak it all in.  When I was younger I didn't always understand why she would say or do or feel the way she did.  So much has changed since having Bug and I get it now. Mom, I understand everything now and I am sorry for ever doubting you or questioning your reasons!

Later in the day I grabbed my Daddy to go meet my sister Allie and her boyfriend for a delicious lunner at The Carnitas Snack Shack.  It was nice getting to take my Dad out as my date. I think he really enjoyed being out with two of his girls.  He was so cute and surprised my sister with a steaming bowl of delicious mussels, her favorite. That's my Dad's way of communicating. Growing up he would always bring us home a favorite treat or buy us a little small gift. We all call it "love stuff". It's his way of acknowledging he's thinking of you.  "Love stuff" is so special and it never gets old, it can heal event the deepest of wounds.

After our lunner we decided to go driving around to talk and just spend time with each other. It was really nice. Driving is a special thing for my Dad.  He drives as a way to think and clear his head and I can see why.  Just being on the road with nowhere in particular to go can be very freeing and creative too.  It leads to great ideas and conversations. 

My Dad is the coolest, most insanely smart, and interesting man ever.  He can captivate your attention with his easy going ways and words. I think he and I like using each other as sounding boards because others might think we are crazy.  We have a way of communicating with each other openly and honestly.  I always leave conversations with him feeling a little better.  This long drive was no exception.  I feel like we are on the same page, as part of a team.

If anything, today's Thankfullness solidified in me that as we age we really need to foster our relationships with our parents on different levels.  I was in a training a week ago with Dr. Kim.  The woman is a dynamo and everyone should have the pleasure of hearing her speak.  One point she made that sticks out to me today is the roles of parents in our lives. According to Dr. Kim, parents play four different roles in their child's life. Not all roles happen at the same time but the roles present themselves as the need occurs. The first role is as nurse, parents primarily care for the physical, spiritual and mental wellness of their children.  The second role as King/Queen of their household, the authoritarian of the child's life.  The third role is as coach to mold and teach their child.  The final role is as a special friend to support and interact with your child as they age to adulthood. 

I am really lucky that I have had the best parents possible. They have been all these roles to me and more. I hope I can learn from them and foster the same good relationship with my children because in all the ways parents do everything to mold us, we mold them too.  For good or for bad we have shaped each other and the way we relate and interact. As we age we need to continue to foster and deepen our relationship roots. It's how we learn, love, and continue to grow. 

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